In limbo

I really don't know where to start or how to explain this all that well. I'm still frustrated, upset, agitated, worried, bitter, sad etc.

I have been working for the largest school district in the state of Arkansas going on 18 years. I started back in 1991 as an aide on a school bus. I became a driver 6 months later. I got my own route 1 1/2 years after I was hired. I drove route 524 for 16 years. Last August at our start-up meeting I was told my route had been terminated due to cut backs. I took it really hard and was devastated!! I cried like a baby in front of all my co-workers. I wasn't alone....there were about 20 routes cut all together. But, it all worked out OK...since I had the most seniority out of the routes that were cut; I got to bid on the open routes first. I needed one that went to the middle school I work at and I wanted it to be a special needs bus since that is what I have been driving for 18 years! Just so happened that one of the women that retired came off of a special needs bus...route 500 and it goes to the school I work at as a Social Skills Coach!! I bid on it and I was told it was mine...permanently!!!

There was also news about the people who retired...they would be starting at the bottom if they choose to come back to work. Now, in the past this school district aloud people to retire, get their severance pay, and return to work with their seniority, benefits and route! So those people were pissed as well when they heard this news. They joined together and hired a lawyer and filed a grievance. They won that grievance and the superintendent signed off on it Thursday night.

So I went to see my supervisor on Friday morning. She told me it was out of her hands....I will be losing my route!! The woman who retired off of route 500 wants her route back! (I can't blame her....they did mess with her job as well and I would do the same thing she did!) The route that they said was MINE for GOOD!!! I started crying and told her that it was totally unfair! How could they screw me like this!? They don't even have a route that is open that goes to my middle school. So what does all this mean.....If I don't get a route that goes to the school I work at I will have to quit my job at the school. A job that I LOVE....my kids mean the world to me and I work with some amazing people!!! But, I have better benefits on the bus and it pays more than the school! So I would have to stay with the bus. It just upsets me so much that I would have to give up a job I have worked so hard at for so many years.

So I wait....they don't know when all this is going to take effect. Could be Monday.......could be in a week....a month...nobody knows!! They couldn't give me an answer. I'm in limbo. I have cried so much this weekend over it. John said we just need to pray about it! God has worked things out for us before...he will do it again!!

Hope this makes sense....I'm not good at explaining things when I'm upset (& drinking)

My good friend Ann told me yesterday to just keep saying this.....
I have the will.....He has the way!

I have the will!!!